Boundaries – who are they for? how do you set them?
This week our focus is Principle 7 Don’t Set A Boundary Unless You are Determined to Stick to It As you know, this principle is one of the critical of the 12 as it turns boundary setting on its head.
Many parents have been told by every advisor, professional, and treatment center they have worked with, that the problem is that you have to set boundaries with your loved one and until you do, nothing will get better. Yet in the BALM®, families learn “Don’t set a boundary unless you are determined to stick to it.” and then BALM® parents do the inner work of balming that will allow them to be strong enough to do so.
As you think about boundaries and prepare to learn more about setting boundaries in the Principle 7 Lesson, remember this:
1. You set a boundary for yourself. To protect your property, your time, your person, your preferences. You get to decide what you will and will not allow into your experience and setting a boundary is the way you do so.
2. Leverage is a tool you can use to help your loved one make decisions that will benefit their recovery. It is a negotiating process, best done with the help of professionals (in the beginning especially). Learn more about this in the Principle One Lesson “You have a crucial role to play in your loved one’s recovery.”
3. So, don’t think that setting boundaries are something you do for your loved one’s benefit or to control them. Not at all. Boundaries are there to help YOU, though they can set the stage for a healthier, less chaotic life for the entire family.
Part of what helps our BALM® families gain the strength to use leverage and to set powerful boundaries, is the excellent education they receive not only from the BALM® principles and steps, but also from the experts who we interview every week on the Daily BALM®.
This week, for instance, we had the privilege of welcoming Jill Curley, MS, a primary Therapist for The Ranch Treatment Center in Wrightsville, PA. Jill has 20+ yrs experience specializing in dual diagnosis and crisis management in the world of substance use disorders.
If you are a member of the BALM® program, you have access to LIVE weekly interviews of SUD and recovery experts, recovering family members, recovering persons, as well as access to all past interviews in our archives of recordings in Family Recovery Academy.
CLICK HERE to see all that is included in the BALM Family Recovery Program 1-year membership.
If you would like more information on how to enroll call 1-888-998-BALM (2256)