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When Families Get Help

Addiction Recovery for Families, Family Recovery, Featured Article | August 2, 2014

Here are some of the statements heard around the virtual table on our phone conferences when family members are asked to described how the BALM® family member has changed:

·         He used to yell all the time and now he is actually involved in our son’s life and encouraging him in ways that seem to be working

·         She never stopped crying until she started working with you and now she seems to have a purposeful way of thinking about what is happening and the patience to work with the treatment team without trying to control everything

·         She was almost incoherent before. Now she is clear about what she knows, what she wants to see happen, and how to help our daughter get there.

·         Ever since she started taking the Daily BALM® course, she seems to get it that it’s not her fault and she’s stopped trying to fix the situation. Instead, she communicates in a brief, calm way that appears to help my brother (the user) pause and listen.

·         Whatever my mom is doing, it is helping her and so it’s good by me.

It reminds me of the story of Sara. Her mother had drunk herself to an early grave and now she was watching her son Danny do the same thing.

“My old behaviors with my mom kick in everytime he messes up or comes in drunk or high as a kite,” Sara shared.

When I asked her what she meant, she described cleaning up after him, allowing him to go on drunken rages with her as the verbal target, and the fact that he totaled the car three times and never even thought twice about it.

“I just can’t take it anymore,” Sara said. “My nerves are on edge. My house is in a shambles from his rampages, I’m paying for his tickets, having to drive him everywhere, and not getting any sleep.”

Sara called Family Recovery Resources because she was at the end of her rope. One of our BALM® Family Recovery Coaches spoke with her to help her figure out which program would be best for her. She started with the Daily BALM®/BALM® Practitioner package, two courses that would give her both education and the support of a buddy for a couple of months to help her get started.

“Since I started The Daily BALM®, a light has been going off in my head,” she shared. I realized that Danny’s addiction is NOT my fault, but that I could change the way I respond to it. I found out I had been contributing to his addictive process and once I began to change, things shifted in our house.

Danny began to shoulder more of his own consequences and as he did so, he began to talk to Sara about getting help.

For Sara, the courses were enough to get her started powerfully.

In Michelle’s case, coaching provided the key to action. “The courses were great,” she shared. But, I just couldn’t think clearly enough to put them into action without help. My BALM® coach helped me become clear and confident enough to begin a whole new way of relating to my daughter’s struggles and my own life.”

Today, Michelle’s daughter has a year sober and Michelle is continuing to get strong as she shifts from someone dedicated to helping her daughter stop using to someone advocating for continuing recovery.

“The one-one-one’s were essential to me,”  Dara said. “I just needed someone I could bounce ideas off of and call on a moment’s notice for a laser (a brief session between sessions that comes with our coaching packages).”

She continued. “Everyone’s different. But for us, The Daily BALM® and my BALM® coach helped bring sobriety and serenity to our home. I’m a completely different person now than I was a year ago and everyone, including my husband, has noticed. This was the best thing I could have done for us, for our future, for our family.”

When the family ‘gets’ recovery, the using loved one has a MUCH better chance of getting it too. This is a research-based statement.

The Daily BALM® starts up again this September with a weekly live call every Wednesday and over 80 hours of recorded lessons, discussions, recovering speakers, and expert interviews.  Up to three family members can join in for one year for only $399. This course has been making a huge difference in families’ lives for over 3 years now.

For this low price, shouldn’t YOUR family have the chance to benefit?