How to Tell If Your BALM Conversations Are Working
“I had a BALM conversation with my son but it was not successful.”
Is that true?
Here are some things about BALM conversations and the BALM in general that can be good to know:
It Is Your Role to Contribute to Recovery
The road to BALMing starts with the understanding that you, as a family member, are always contributing to your loved one’s addictive disorder or their recovery.And BALM is designed to teach you how to contribute solely to your loved one’s recovery!
BALM Stands for Be A Loving Mirror
The BALM Method of Family Recovery is all about family members learning new ways to relate to themselves and their loved ones that allow them to become their loved one’s BEST chance at recovery.
BALM conversations go from heart to heart.
Though an immediate positive result is not insured, over time these daily mini-interventions can have a huge impact on your loved one’s direction and desire to get and stay in recovery.
Of course there is no guarantee that your loved one will recover. But, don’t give up!
BALM conversations build on each other.
You may have several, over time, before finding any positive difference in the person you are having it with or you may see a change right away.
Sometimes the person you have a BALM conversation with will not react well.
They will get angry or upset with you. That doesn’t mean the conversation has not been successful. In fact, it can mean that your love infused message hit a deep chord within them that they were not ready to admit to facing, even within themselves.
It’s All About Tone
Tone and the inner peace of the BALMer play a crucial role in turning a regular conversation into a BALM conversation.
Being a BALMer means being willing to:
- Take the longview – knowing it may take time for your conversation to get through to your loved one
- Employ a variety of tactics – Work with your BALM coach and your BALM community partners to hone your BALM conversations, Motivational Interviewing and your understanding of Stages of Change, to name a few. When put together, these three can catapult your communication with your loved one to a powerful new level
- Partner with your loved one’s professionals – clinician, recovery life coach, therapist, interventionist.
- Consider yourself an advocate for your loved one’s recovery and a member of the recovery team.
Recovery is definitely a team sport.
Bring your own BALM Family Recovery LIfe Coach onto the team. When professionals work together, with the family and the loved one when possible, amazing things can happen.
Learn how to prepare and carry out a BALM® Conversation by taking the next 7 Steps to BALM® class starting in September (Watch your weekly newsletter for dates). If you are not yet part of the BALM® Community and would like to learn more about the 7 Steps to BALM® class CLICK HERE.
Be A Loving Mirror!
Beverly A. Buncher, MA, PCC, MRLC, CTPC
Family Recovery Coach/CEO
Family Recovery Resources, LLC
786 859 4050