What Does it mean to heal your relationship with someone in pre- or early recovery?
PRE- AND OR EARLY RECOVERY – TOUGH ON THE LOVED ONE; TOUGH ON THE FAMILY
Ever get that feeling of the ground crumbling beneath your feet?
Or a chasm so deep within you that you aren’t sure you can ever even breathe your way out of it?
Are you trying your best to help your loved one and finding rejection one moment and almost desparate need in the next?
If so, you may be facing the very common experience of many in relationship with someone struggling with a substance use disorder (SUD), other addiction, or mental health disorder.
The odd thing about this experience is that it may appear as a sort of awakening. This is because prior to facing your loved one’s difficulties directly, you may have been in denial, thinking your loved one was acting in weird ways but not realizing that they were dealing with disordered thinking that could result in dangerous outcomes.
In other words, coming out of denial about the seriousness of a loved one’s situation can feel like being blinded by the light of an awareness so bright that you want to shield yourself from its effects and even go back to the darkness.
SO WHAT IS A FAMILY MEMBER TO DO WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF STRUCK BY THE REALITY OF YOUR SITUATION WITH YOUR LOVED ONE?
There is a simple answer to that question as old as the ages and as new as each moment of experience:
- Lower your inner temperature through whatever meditation, mindfulness, or breath practices help you stay centered so you can be at peace with all that is going on in your life and theirs.
Be aware of who they are being.
- See it objectively
- Look without opinion at their behaviors
- Listen without judgment to their words
Be Aware of who you are being and how you are feeling as you face your current situation and theirs
- See how you are reacting, speaking, and acting in response to what is going on without judgment of yourself.
So you can see that this may be simple but it is not easy.
In addition to shifting your attitude, your BALM studies will also help you learn new ways to relate to your struggling loved one.
You will learn:
- How to use leverage
- How to speak lovingly, clearly, and factually.
- How to take care of yourself.
- How to be loving without enabling or hurting them
- How to set boundaries that protect you from going against your values
And yet, learning is fragile and finite without guidance and practice.
The BALM is your teacher. Your coach is your guide. With the new BALM Family Recovery Intensive (BFRI) you can get the best of both worlds: Individual Coaching, group coaching, and the entirety of the BALM. for six full months. Text me to set up a time to discuss! 786 859 4050.
SPECIAL INTERVIEW EVENT THIS COMING WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON:
BALMers, please join me this Wednesday, August 23rd at 1 PM ET for a special interview with Anthony Eldridge-Rogers, a coaching colleague of mine, who will discuss what it is like for our loved ones to go through the fragile time of struggling to make the decision to recover and then to actually pursue it. We will look together at this process from the family’s and the loved one’s perspectives. You can sign up on your weekly call list on the BALM Training Institute (BTI) platform.
Not yet a member of BALM or has your membership lapsed? Perhaps this would be a good time to sign up or re-up your membership! Call us today at 1-888-998-2256 to join us on this and on all of the offerings of the BALM!