Weekly Family Recovery Life Coaching? Why Can’t I Just Come When I Am In Crisis?
Sara is the wife of a person struggling with a substance use disorder. When she came into the BALM, she was angry, frustrated and afraid. Her husband said she was a nag and her children saw her as moody and filled with rage.
She just saw her life falling apart more and more the more her husband drank and used drugs.
Sharla and Dan are the parents of a 25 year old with an alcohol use disorder. Their daughter totaled the car three times in the last year, yet they continued to fix it and pay for all of their daughter’s expenses. They didn’t know what to say to her anymore and things kept getting worse.
When Sara came into the BALM, she fully committed. She got a coach and began the one year program. She attended all of the live BALM classes that she could and when unable to attend live, she watched the videos. She met with her coach weekly and learned how to apply all she was learning to her situation with her husband. Within a month or so, she began to calm down and see things differently. Within three months of her weekly coaching and almost daily attendance at BALM classes or videos she was able to have productive, loving BALM conversations with her husband and he was open to going to treatment, a possibility he had never been willing to even consider before.
Sharla and Dan, on the other hand, paid for their BALM membership, attended a few classes and kept enabling their daughter. They even signed up for a coach, but rarely came to sessions. Instead, they kept their conversations about each other and all of their disagreements about how to handle their daughter.
“I’m too stressed,” Sharla told her coach. And Dan? He just couldn’t see any other way than simply giving their daughter money to fix her many drug related issues. As for all of the powerful life and family recovery lessons available to the in the BALM, they just couldn’t see how it could help…and frankly, they were too busy focusing on their disagreements rather than learning what how the BALM and their coach might help them come together on their own and their daughter’s behalf.
It is said that coaching and the BALM are not for people who need it, but for people who want it. Wanting to learn a new way because the old way isn’t working, and being willing to change perspectives, words and behaviors in order to bring about that new way of being in relationship with self and loved one takes willingness, focus, energy, and time.
Facing a loved one’s struggles with substances or other addictions or mental health challenges isn’t easy. And it isn’t ‘easy’ to change course.
But like all new habits of mind, the family recovery mindset is one worth pursuing.
We can’t guarantee your loved one will have an instant transformation because you are taking your recovery seriously and working with your coach and studying the BALM seriously.
We can guarantee that you will change for the better and your family members and often your loved one will notice that change. Even if one member of the family takes on the BALM and a coach seriously, everyone will benefit, especially the person working the BALM!
Coaching isn’t a once in awhile thing. Regular meetings with your coach as you learn the BALM will help you build momentum in order to make a greater, more positive impact in your family’s life.
Isn’t that something worth aspiring to? What would you give to a new beginning for your family? for yourself?
This is not written with scorn but with love. We have all been there.
Please, take a deep breath and
Be A Loving Mirror
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