This Moment is All We Have
updated June 21, 2017
Everything about this era seems to be speaking to a common theme: that we only have this day, this moment to count on. Even a day or two of watching the news makes this very clear.
Yet, people whose lives are affected by their own or someone else’s addiction know this in their bones, even before they admit it out loud and without even without watching the news.
When clients express their fear about losing a loved one, the conversation often turns to how everyone dies and everyone only has this moment guaranteed, but those of us with a using loved one have to face the fact of potential loss clearly and powerfully every time we look into our beautiful using spouse or using child’s eyes.
The ability to face uncertainty with acceptance and serenity is the result of deep inner work and, often, much struggle. Many times, it comes at the end of a long period of inability to accept the uncertainty of what tomorrow will bring.
And yet, it can come in the blink of an eye, as one says the serenity prayer, experiences a deep level of awareness during meditation, or, through practice of the BALM® tool “Focusing on the Task at Hand” suddenly realizes that it is possible to live in the moment, without clinging to obsessive thoughts of ‘what if’ or ‘oh no.’
Getting out of denial and coming into awareness is about facing what is really going on in our family: that the using behavior is deadly and that our loved one most likely will NOT just grow out of it. When we do this, we can begin to do the important work of learning how to behave and communicate in ways that have the potential to contribute to our loved one’s recovery and NOT to their addiction. This is what we mean when we talk about moving from enabling to helping.
If you are a BALMer, be sure to listen to Lesson 4 of Principle 4: You Can Be Your Loved One’s BEST Chance at Recovery and join us this Wednesday on the Daily BALM® at 8:00 pm ET when Frank Morales, MSed, CRADC (Certified Reciprocal Alcohol Drug Counselor) will share his experience of 25 plus years of conducting family interventions, in where a major asset to an early recovering person’s success is expanding hope for the future and regaining what was lost, especially in the relationships that were impacted by the dysfunctional behavior of addiction. (In the BALM® we teach you, the family member, to have BALM® conversations, which we call mini-interventions) You won’t want to miss it!!
Until then, Be A Loving Mirror!
Beverly A. Buncher, MA, PCC, MRLC, CTPC
Family Recovery Coach/CEO
Family Recovery Resources, LLC
786 859 4050