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the secret to a happy marriage

BALM | March 5, 2015

Working together at home stretches our marriage in new ways.

Yesterday, my husband and I had an argument. It stood out,first, since we yelled at each other, and second, because we did so in front of a coworker. In the old dark days, when addiction had a hold on our family, a 5 minute yelling match would have stretched out to five hours or five days. It would have put a shadow over our conversations for days and if i implied that there was fault on both sides, my other half would have put me down and yelled again.

Not so yesterday.

Not being perfect, we both raised our voices. Then, we each went back to work for awhile with few words arising between us.

A bit later, we ran into each other in the kitchen. I looked at my husband and he took my hand. “I guess we both need to work on being more loving with each other.” His eyes were gentle and warm. The same disarming, open eyes I had fallen in love with 30 years ago.

“Yes, we do,” I answered, acknowledging my own half of the situation, and we smiled at each other, embracing each other with our eyes and hearts.

I’m grateful to have a friend around, one who is willing today to see both his positive and negative traits as well as mine and get over upsets quickly rather than slowly.

The secret to a happy marriage?

Little moments like that; little healing exchanges that make it all okay. And a recovery program that gives us both tools to put first things first and let go of each past moment for the new one we are in.

Be A Loving Mirror!