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the paradox of control

BALM | July 20, 2015

Ever notice that the more you try to control your loved one or anyone in your life, the less control it feels like you have? Funny how that works.

Recovery is about observing how things work and choosing to say and do those things that do work, while letting go of those that don’t.

In the case of control, the key is to allow rather than attempt to control.

Allow yourself to observe the facts of a situation.

Allow yourself to breathe through the feelings of wanting everything to go a certain way.

Allow yourself, without acting on it, to experience that desperate moment of KNOWING that if only they would do it your way, all would be well. Watch the desperation rise and then fall away in your consciousness when you don’t fuel it with aggressive action.

Put your focus on yourself – your attitudes, your knowledge base, your emotions, your well-being. Observe how difficult it is to even control yourself.

See how you, too, falter when asked to go deep within to change. And admit that what you are asking of the other person could be well beyond them at THIS moment. See, too, that what is true in this moment may not always be the case.

Breathe even more, gently, deeply, as you begin to see that control is not really the answer.

Then become open to find your answer. The answer that has been waiting within you to be found: Love, peace, acceptance, understanding.

Take 7 steps to a peaceful way of life: Be A Loving Mirror!