Slowing Down to Increase the Peace
The BALM® Principles have an order. With order comes repose: the potential to stop and slowly consider next steps. When families come into the BALM®, we recommend that they study the first four principles and then begin their study and practice of the 7 Steps to Be A Loving Mirror®. The value of this process of slowing down in this way is critical to help families lay a foundation for their work of getting their lives back while also helping their loved one get their life back.
In Principle 1, we begin to recognize that we have a role in our loved one’s recovery and that it is possible to contribute to recovery. This idea takes away hopelessness.
Then, in Principle 2, we learn that change, in our loved ones and ourselves, happens in stages. This allows us to see recovery as a process that starts way before a person stops using or, in the case of a family member, stops enabling.
Principle 3 is all about how, when we let go of controlling outcomes, we have more energy to commit to doing the things for our loved one that really help, and more inner control to not be manipulated by their hijacked brain’s machinations.
And then, we come to Principle 4 which tells us we CAN be our loved one’s BEST chance at recovery. This principle is all about eliminating denial about the seriousness of what is happening in our family so we can stop enabling and thus stop being a part of the problem our loved one is facing. Once we are living in awareness and taking responsibility for our own yes or no, this principle begins to become a reality.
When families complete these four principles, they are ready to do the inner work of BALM® which is found in the 7 Steps. It is deep. It is powerful. And it all starts with a process of slowing down and starting at the beginning to arrive most fruitfully at the destination.
Be A Loving Mirror!
If you would like more information about becoming a BALM® Family Member CLICK HERE.
If you would like to read more about the BALM® Family Recovery Program, you can in Bev’s new book, BALM® – The Loving Path to Family Recovery. CLICK HERE to get your copy!