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Sandy, Melissa’s Friend, Makes an Offer

BALM | October 24, 2013

Sandy was toking some weed, which she offered to Melissa as soon as she got in. Melissa turned her down at first, but then thought, “What the Hell?” and took a puff.

“Where have you been girl?” she asked Sandy.

“Right where I’ve always been,” Sandy answered. “You’re the one who disappeared.”

“Guess I did,” Melissa replied. As they pulled out of the parking space, Lisa saw her mom driving home. Though Millie didn’t see her, she’d see what happened soon enough…

Melissa, though, was hit by a wave of guilt and regret upon seeing her mom.

“Oh no Sandy, it was my mom.”

“What? That’s crazy. What do you want to do??

“I don’t know. Do you think I’m doing the wrong thing?”

“Hell no girl. It’s your life. Who are they to tell you how to live it?”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Melissa said, relaxing back into the front seat of the car. “But there were times when I started to think it would be nice to get out of this mess.”

“I know what you mean,” Sandy shared. “In fact, I was kind of jealous when I heard the news that you’d gotten out. But everyone told me I was nuts.”

“You’re not,” Melissa said, “But…wait a minute. I have an idea.”

A battle is waging in your loved one, deep within their psyche, between the part of them that wants their drug and the part that’s had enough. Most of the time, the druggie within them wins. But, sometimes…

Sandy stopped the car and pulled over. Melissa’s ideas had a way of confusing her and she wanted to hear this one.

“Maybe you could come with me.”

“What?” Sandy said. “How could I?”

“I don’t know.” Melissa said. “I could ask.”

“This isn’t a family vacation Melissa,” Sandy said. “Just because your parents took us to Europe last year doesn’t mean they’ll put us both in treatment.”

“Maybe they won’t have to,” Melissa offered, her beautiful mind in full gear. “Maybe they’ll get YOUR parents involved.”

“MY parents?” Sandy said. “Forget it. They gave up on me a long time ago.”

“My mom is very persuasive,” Melissa said. “I think we should give it a chance.”

The two girls spent the morning at a Starbucks figuring out how they would approach this radical idea of both of them going to treatment together.

Though Sandy’s parents thought their chances of helping their daughter were hopeless, maybe they were wrong…

Tip#19: Even when your loved one seems to back track, know that your efforts have not been wasted. At any moment, they could choose to get clean, and when you have put your all into your own recovery and learned the BALM® techniques of unconditional love and encouragement, you will be ready to help them get their life back on track.

Meanwhile, back at the house, Millie was on the phone with the police describing Melissa. Little did she know that her daughter was about to present her with a challenge that she’d never anticipated…Fortunately, she had some recovery behind her and a team of coaches and other professionals to help her face the next step of her journey to help her daughter.

Tip #20: To help avoid the merry-go-round of treatment – relapse – treatment, have a recovery care management plan in place!



You may have missed parts of Melissa’s story. If you’d like to read more about Melissa, her family members and the tips I mentioned earlier, you can go to the upper right hand side of this page and add your best email address to receive a free guide to being in relationship with a loved one who is dealing with addiction. It tells you a bit more about “Being a Loving Mirror”. You’ll also be able to follow stories like Millie’s through regular emails delivered to your inbox.


One more thing… Do you know a Millie, a Salllie, a Tom, or a Melissa? Share these stories with them.