The BALM Blog
See all postsRest in Peace Ty Lovitt by Ginny Atwood
It’s with the heaviest of hearts that I share the news that Ty Lovitt, the father of my child and my partner for 16 years, has gone to be with God. He was a creative, passionate, deeply loving, and sensitive soul. He loved animals, reef aquariums, cooking, video games, and all things nerdy. Most importantly, he loved our boy and his family more than anything in the world. We will all miss him so much. I haven’t shared on here about the events of the last four years, but before he died, Ty asked me to tell his story to help others in the way I’ve done with my brother’s story. So here is what I’m able to find the words for right now..
Ty always struggled with severe anxiety that was not well managed and it peaked during Covid. He began drinking more than usual, and subsequently developed cirrhosis at the young age of 38. This fact was discovered in May 2022 during a routine hernia surgery. The diagnosis came as a huge shock to us. He didn’t drink handles of liquor or a case of beer a day. He just overdid it by a couple of drinks most days, like many others do and due to the deep shame that is still so entrenched around addiction, he hid how much he was struggling from all of us. He was also overusing Tylenol which likely contributed to his liver injury. Some people’s livers are just more susceptible – and sadly, this kind of thing is becoming more common. Cirrhosis rates have almost doubled in the last three decades, rising by 23% in a single year during the pandemic, and the age of death is getting younger.
Over the next year and a half I dove deep into learning about the disease, managed most of his medical needs, cooked liver healthy meals, and got him into multiple rounds of treatment for alcoholism. I wanted to save him and he wanted to beat it so bad. He wanted to be there for his little boy more than anything. But addiction and cirrhosis had too tight of a grip on him. I did as much as I could before the toll it took on our marriage was too great and in the summer of 2023 I had to step away to prioritize my mental health and be able to be the best mom I could for Caleb.
Because Ty had not been sober for at least 6 months, he was not deemed eligible for a liver transplant – despite the fact that studies show sobriety prior to transplant has little effect on outcomes. Stigma is everywhere. Maybe one day ill do something to tackle this arbitrary rule that’s left so many to die. Last spring he took a turn for the worse and spent most of the rest of his life in the hospital or at home on palliative/hospice care. The last 6 months have been brutal watching him decline.
Throughout it all Ty and I remained friends and I made sure he got regular time with Caleb, who has handled the whole ordeal with such grace and resilience. My sweet boy has been through so much at such a young age and my heart just breaks for him. But he has an army of people who love him and have offered to support us. Even though they got such a short time together, we made some incredible memories to hold onto for a lifetime and I will make sure this little boy sees pictures and videos regularly and hears all about the best part of his Dada who loved him so, so much. There is a beautiful reef aquarium at The Chris Atwood Foundation’s recovery center in memory of Ty and if you or someone you know is experiencing problematic drinking or using, I invite you to take this as a sign to come visit us and talk to someone who’s been through it too. Www.thecaf.org Rest in peace, Tyty.
You are forever loved.