Love is the Answer… Compassion is the Path… Inner Peace
Jill has four children and a husband who works long weeks out of town. When he is away, the house is pretty peaceful in the chaotic way that a house full of children can be. But when he is home, things can truly get out of control. He yells, he screams, and worst of all he drinks. A lot. This behavior led Jill to the BALM®.
At its core, BALM® recovery is all about love. Not tough love, but rather a form of active love that treats struggling persons with dignity and respect, even when they are at their worst.
BALMers are proponents of love that is able to be factual and stay calm in a storm.
First, let’s look at the foundation of that love: inner peace.
Ideally, the person who wishes to help first applies self love in the form of attending to their own serenity. As my teacher Fred Jones, PhD taught me so long ago, “Calm is power. Upset is weakness.”
To be calm in relationship to another requires one to access an inner state of calm which is always our birthright, and often ignored or thought to be unattainable in the midst of outer trauma or upset. Yet, it is closer than the breath and actually can begin with the breath. You can start with 4 slow, deep breaths in, 4 seconds of holding the breath and 8 seconds of breathing out. We call this 4-4-8 and invite you to try this when things are calm on a regular basis to build it as a default when things get tense.
If you have another path to inner peace that works for you, use that.
Whatever it is though, use it regularly regardless of what is happening in your life so it will be there for you when you need it.
That’s all for now.
Love and peace to you,
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