The BALM Blog

See all posts

How to Know Who to Tell What About A Loved One’s Addictive Behaviors

BALM | April 16, 2014

Lately I’ve gotten several letters and texts asking about how to know if, how, and when to bring information you know into the light. One writer wanted to tell an addicted loved one that he knew she’d lost her job.  Another wanted to tell a son that his mom’s drug use was much worse that he’d been able to admit to himself.

In both cases, the BALM® conversation provides a wonderful structure for both conversations. Each of these factors: coming from peace, observing what is going on, dropping judgment, documenting the facts, and then scripting a powerful relay of facts, can greatly help assure that your conversation will not fall on deaf ears.

But how do you decide whether or not you should even have the conversation and when to do so?

What we know is that addiction flourishes in an environment of secrets and recovery grows in the light of day. But, as we always discuss in the BALM® classes, timing is everything. Before you make a decision, ask yourself these questions about whether and when to share what you know:

  1. What is your motivation?
  2. What will telling accomplish?
  3. Is the timing right?
  4. Is the information yours to tell?

After you do so, if you still have questions about whether or not to do so, feel free to give me a call and let’s talk about it. It helps to have a coach to work through these and so many questions and aspects of life with a struggling loved one. To sign up for a complimentary coaching session, give me a call at 786 859 4050 or click here.