+ How is Family Recovery Like Finding the Right Hair Solution? - BALM

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How is Family Recovery Like Finding the Right Hair Solution?

BALM | November 10, 2018

Did you ever feel like if only your hair would listen to you everything would be great? You’d look good, you would be able to go out in public with minimal work, and that would be one less problem you would have in facing your day and your life?

I have.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I have a very thick head of hair that others have told me they envy.

Yet, for years, unless I have been willing to spend hours in front of a mirror blowing it dry or hours at the hair salon weekly for someone else to do it,  I have had to face the fact that my hair would simply NOT obey. I’ve been told this is because it is so thick, because I have a cowlick, because of the styles I prefer, because of ….well, you get the idea.

About 2 1/2 years back, I was sure I had found the stylist of my dreams! She was able to get the color and hair style just right. Then one day, I went into the salon and asked for a bit of red hair in the mix (meaning auburn).

When I got home, my grand daughter exclaimed, “Bubby (that’s what she calls me),  you have bright red spray paint in your hair!” It was around Valentine’s Day and she was sure that was why.

Sure enough, the mirror revealed my lack of communication with my stylist and I spent the next six months getting rid of the red and making sure nothing would bring it back to the surface…

One of the jokes in our BALM community is that if you join the BALM you will experience a panoply of hairstyles and non-styles over 6 years of recordings – just by watching Bev’s video classes…


Not a tragic situation. At 61 I still have a thick head of hair! Gratitude for that!

Yet, time consuming and somewhat annoying…

Then, it happened!

About four months ago, I was driving home after breakfast out and saw a new salon in my new town and walked in.

I gave my usual spiel to the stylist before I let her touch my head, telling her about the need to not use harsh product that might reveal the underlying red or harm my perfect combo of colors, highlights and lowlights, etc.

Quietly confident, my new stylist said, “I have product that will not hurt your hair and a process that will allow you to have soft silk hair with minimal care. Let’s get started!”

I was sure she was wrong, but tired of trying new salons, so I took a chance.

Sure enough, her shampoo and conditioner were softening, and she only spent 20 minutes styling my hair…and, as promised, it was silky, and easy to manage for awhile.

She said to come back in a few weeks for color.

And the next few weeks, my hair was easier to manage than it had been, so I did.

This time around, she colored my hair and put a special process in that she said would be healthy AND keep it straight and soft for the next SIX MONTHS.


All I had to do was wash my hair twice weekly with the shampoo and conditioner she gave me and use very little. She promised it would last a long while.

Three months in, my hair is still straight, soft and easy to manage. I still have half of the shampoo and conditioner! Not caring about being a fashion-plate, I put it in a ponytail a lot and even the pieces that hang out are straight!

Plus, i have been able to keep it looking and feeling good with minimal visits to the salon.

Sure, I could get professionally coiffed more often, but it is not like before, when if I didn’t do so, I looked like I had just woken up at all times!

As far as I’m concerned, this new stylist brought a revolution into my life, giving me the ability to look good with minimal fussing. She truly understood what it would take for my hair, prescribed it, and I listened and did and do what she said and it is working!

So, you ask, what on earth does this have to do with family recovery?

I thought you’d never ask.

The other morning, still so grateful for a new way to enjoy my hair and have so much more time in my life to do so, I was thinking about how this process relates to family recovery and, in particular, the BALM.

I realized that what we have developed in the BALM is a revolutionary path to family recovery that combines many successful and evidence based ideas and concepts, practices and actions. The result is one that often startles participants, sometimes only a few chapters into our book, BALM The Loving Path to Family Recovery. Suddenly, they find that sometimes, all it takes is a few simple tweaks in communication to begin to transform their relationship with their loved one and be able to imagine a better path ahead.

There is an old saying by Rabbi Hillel,  “Don’t do unto your neighbor that which you do not want them to do unto you – the rest is commentary.” The BALM provides the formula for how this works when it comes to a struggling loved one – along with detailed commentary to carry you forward into recovery for the entire family!

One of my favorite days of the week is when I get to teach a Daily BALM 12 Principles class when participants share how practicing the BALM has transformed them and their families.

Sometimes, we search for years for that which was there all along only we didn’t know about it. That is the gift my stylist gave to me. Could the BALM be that for you?

To find out, listen to lesson one of the 12 principles. Click here to get yours.

Best wishes,


If you would like to learn more about the BALM Comprehensive Family Recovery Education Program CLICK HERE and someone will contact you to answer all your questions.

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