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From Despair to Hopefulness

BALM | March 24, 2018

Isaac Arber
BALM® Parent

According to the way I was raised, being a husband, father, grandfather, and entrepreneur require a person to have leadership skills and the expectancy of respect and obedience.

It came to be that our son, a bright, handsome, well-educated young man who had the world at his fingertips, for no certain nor understandable reason, found himself in the grips of an opioid addiction.

Although my dear wife, Marissa, presented me with clear evidence of this fact, my natural reaction was to go into denial. After all, being our only son (we are also blessed with two daughters), the apple of my eye, the follower of my footsteps, and the one I expected to improve upon that which I have accomplished, it was impossible for this to be true. It didn’t make sense and I refused to accept it.

Slowly, I fell into despair. I found myself in a situation where my skills as a leader didn’t work, and the expectancy of respect and obedience was nonexistent. His lies, thieving, and manipulation threw our entire family into turmoil, and my being in denial created a huge gash in my relationship with Marissa. Our son’s addiction was a Damocles sword that dictated our daily existence.

We went through several cycles of detox and rehabilitation, family meetings, and other support systems. Each treatment center offered their own approach and philosophy, with a pretty much common theme of setting up harsh boundaries that rather than provide for positivity, loving, and caring, proved to create animosity, distrust, aggression, and disengagement.

We were torn by the fact that although our son was progressing in his recovery from this terrible disease, our yearning for a return to our previous family structure of loving and caring was not to be. We found ourselves in total dysfunction. There was no desire for anything entertaining. Our family life with our other children and grandchildren suffered. Even though we knew that his actions were out of control, every minute was consumed by anxiety and fear of the unknown. What we were experiencing was not family life.

One day, Marissa told me of her conversation with Bev regarding a program called the BALM. We decided to give it a try and after our first session, we realized that this approach was what we were yearning for. Healthy boundaries were set, conversations revolved around building of trust and sharing love and respect. The program immediately began to bring Marissa and myself together again. Our other children participated in several sessions in order to learn how to reconnect with their brother in a healthy manner.

The BALM team helped to guide our recovery and arranged for a coordinated effort with our son’s therapists and counselors.

Today our son has returned to being a healthy, handsome, bright young man and a responsible member of society.

The BALM, true to its acronym, has coated me in a reassuring, loving, tender environment. The team has taught me how to interact positively and live a healthy life. It has brought about a tremendous change in the manner that we deal with our son’s recovery and has enabled my outlook to have changed from despair to hopefulness.

This testimonial and many more can be found in Bev’s new book: BALM® – The Loving Path to Family Recovery. Order yours today CLICK HERE

If you would like more information about the BALM® Family Recovery Educational Program CLICK HERE.