Can the BALM Program Help Me If I am Separating or Divorcing My Loved One?
This is a questions we often hear. For some reason, perhaps because the BALM is rooted in love and connection, people think it will not be useful for them if they are leaving their loved one or if their loved one is leaving them. Parents whose adult child loved one lives far away often ask the same thing.
The fact is, the BALM is about bringing the inner peace that is each of our birthrights to the surface of consciousness in a very real and sustainable way regardless of the status of our loved one’s recovery or our relationship with them.
And when we do the work to reaffirm and actualize that inner peace, along with the other tools of BALM, preferred outcomes for our loved ones often begin to take root as well.
Regardless of the status of our relationships, family member members greatly benefit from working the BALM.
And indeed, people join the BALM at numerous stages of their relationship with their loved one:
- when their relationship is close and in tact but the use or other struggle is just beginning to interfere
- when the relationship is beginning to feel the pain of sustained use even when the loved one is still completely functional
- when the loved one lives in the home
- when the loved one lives far away
- when the relationship feels like it has totally deteriorated and spouses are separating or parents and adult children loved ones are no longer in contact.
And each of these groups and subgroups often find comfort, solace, practical wisdom and useful strategies and tools to apply in their lives.
Due to the family spouse’s/partner’s work in the BALM, we have seen the spouse:
- continue to work to get help for the family and for the loved one
- begin to live in the peace of their own recovery regardless of their loved one’s choices or the status of their relationship
And we have often seen couples:
- reignite their romantic relationships,
- rebuild loving friendships while continuing to go their own ways
- co-parent more effectively with more love and less resentment
- slowly get back together in stages and lose the anger that was previously in their way
Due to the parents’ work in the BALM, we have seen families of adult child loved ones:
- develop an inner sense of peace and calm regardless of their child’s choices
- get their adult child into treatment
- rebuild the family relationships with the loved one
- learn new ways to communicate so that estrangement turn into a redevelopment of the close family unit
So, if you are wondering if you should join the BALM if you are separating from your loved one or currently estranged in any way, the answer is: only if you feel an increase in your own inner peace and loving wisdom could help you, whether or not you have any hope for your loved one or your relationship.
See you in the community!
Be A Loving Mirror!