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All hands on Deck! What to Do When a Loved One Asks for Help to Go Into Recovery

BALM | April 20, 2015

It’s here! The day you have been waiting for!

Your loved one has had enough. They want help.

For you, this has come not a day too soon. You’ve dreamt of it, hoped for it, cried about it, yearned for it.

Perhaps you have even begged for it.

Wait!

if you have read this far and this day is in truth, still only a dream, don’t stop reading.

Actually, this blog is written for you, too.

By the time your loved one says they are ready to get help, it’s almost too late to follow the advice in this blog, almost, but not entirely.

Either way, not ready or today’s the day, here’s what you need to know.

When we say “You are your loved one’s BEST chance of recovery” we don’t mean you will get or keep them in recovery.

What we mean is, that when you follow specific guidelines, you can smooth the path to their recovery – make it easier for them to get there and easier to stay on the path once clean and sober.

Here’s how:

  1. When they are still using and it seems like they will NEVER stop, YOU stop. Get out of denial by seeing what is really happening with your loved one. Take notes so you don’t forget. Share the facts you have written with them during their lucid moments. (You will learn how to do this well in the 7 steps to BALM® course.)
  2. Stop begging them to stop. Stop Screaming, yelling, crying (in front of them anyway).
  3. Instead, simply observe, document, and calmly tell them what you see.
  4. Study the BALM® principles which will teach you the what and why for all of this
  5. Way before they come to you to tell you they want out, assume the day will happen eventually and start researching. Again, you can find guides in your BALM® course. For instance:
    • Listen to Tim Harrington’s talk in Principle One where he explains the importance of having a long term recovery plan.
    • Check out Stefan Bates’ talk in lesson 2 on the importance of Aftercare to reinforce your understanding of the needs someone has in early recovery.
    • Listen to Dr. John Kelly’s interview in lesson six that explains the research on the trajectory of addiction and recovery so you can get a sense of what could be ahead for you and your loved one. Though each person is unique, the research he sites provides insight into why your BALM® work is so important as you move through this journey with your loved one.
    • Find out how Steven P and his wife moved from enablers of their two boys to helpers and how their behaviors helped their boys decide to get and stay in recovery.
    • Listen to the BALM® moms and wifes tell their stories in the Principle 12 section. Leslie, Cindee, Laura, Susie, and Audrey each have a unique story to tell about how their own practice of BALM® helped them and often their loved one, make better decisions and move in the direction of recovery.
  6. Once you have immersed yourself in The Daily BALM® sign up for the next 7 Steps course so you can work closely with your instructor and other family members to develop the BALM® behaviors that will improve the quality of your life throughout this journey AND give your loved one the BEST chance of getting and staying in recovery.
  7. Begin to explore the various ways to help your loved one. Research treatment centers, aftercare options and support possibilities. Your BALM® coach can help you find centers and practitioners appropriate to help you find the right setting for your loved one.

By now you may have noticed that most of this blog is about you changing the way you relate to your loved one. Please note: if all that changes is that you find a treatment center for your loved one but you yourself keep the same old behaviors, your loved one’s possibilities for success will not be as great as if you actually learn new ways to be, think, speak and act in relation to the challenge your family is facing. Addiction is a family problem. the solution lies in the family deciding to get better. If one family member makes the decision to travel the recovery path, through BALM® and/or other educational or supports, that alone can make a HUGE difference in a loved one’s journey to and through recovery.

Take the plunge! Commit to your own recovery TODAY!

(To learn more about how BALM® can help, click here)