The BALM Starts with a State of Being

As you learn how to plan and have BALM conversations, consider this: Who you are being in the BALM conversation is as important as what you say in the conversation.

In other words, facts delivered with venom will cause the other person’s defenses to come up and prevent your words from going from your heart to theirs. Both hearts closed, yours and theirs, the words ring hollow.

On the other hand, facts delivered in a calm, dispassionate manner, from the lips of someone who has been doing the preliminary work of having a peaceful practice,  move gently and directly from heart to heart, under the radar of the recipient’s denial.

Let’s unpack that a bit:

dispassionate  – non-emotional, unsentimental, nonchalant, conversational, cool, calm, and collected, unruffled, unperturbed, composed, levelheaded, etc. not influenced by strong emotion, and so able to be rational and impartial.

peaceful practice  – a daily practice that creates a sense of peace and calm within the practitioner. This can include sitting meditation, contemplative prayer, walking meditation, or other calming activities

This week on the Daily BALM I will be interviewing one of our 7 Steps teachers Michael DeForbes on the topic of Motivational Interviewing.

Motivational Interviewing is a powerful tool in the toolbox of BALMers which is more about creating a peaceful, loving conversation with the person who is ambiguous about changing their life than it is about any series of techniques.

As with the BALM, the tools of MI add to the BALMer’s repertoire, but it is the state of being of the person asking the motivating questions that counts.

Study Principle Two (Change Happens in Stages) this week. Join Lisa this afternoon for the lesson (Noon ET). Journal with Mark tomorrow morning (10 AM ET) Join Michael and I for the conversation on MI on Wednesday evening (9 PM ET). Then on Friday, join Celeste for a BALM Meditation on Principle 2 at 2 PM ET.

Change your state of being and Be A Loving Mirror!

Best,

Bev Buncher

bbuncher@familyrecoveryresources.com

https://balmfamilyrecovery.com

1-888-998-BALM