5 Differences that BALM Can Make in Your Life
When we are faced with family problems or issues, we want to find a solution for it immediately.
But when it comes to problems like substance abuse disorder, patience is of utmost importance. No one recovers overnight. It is a gradual process.
There may be a lot of solutions available right now, but knowing and choosing the best solution for us can be challenging. There are a lot of programs that cater to family recovery, but only a few have the heart and empathy for your family’s recovery success over SUD.
With the Be A Loving Mirror (BALM) method, you will experience 5 concrete differences in your life and of your loved one once you start to immerse in the teachings.
1. Blindside exposure.
Everybody has blindsides. You and your loved one has different blindsides and getting into the BALM program expose you to each of your blindsides. You had a blindside about the fact that you’re using energy where it was harmful to yourself and your loved one.
Yelling didn’t help and more yelling will not cause them to respond to you or get through them. You could also have taken on the responsibility of cleaning their mess when they get into trouble, like getting themselves in jail, getting a new job or a new car.
Your loved one’s blindside is not being able to see and use the consequences of their behavior as a motivation to stop using.
With BALM, you will learn how to not react to bad behavior and how to respond. You learn how to deal with your own emotion internally, record what you see, use scripted BALM conversations, and calmly share facts with them.
There are planned mini interventions to let your loved ones know what their behavior looks like and is causing. These calm, loving conversations, scripts go under their defenses and right straight through their heart. It makes them less defensive and gradually breaks down the grip that denial has on their minds.
2. You have an opportunity to vent.
Being related to someone who has a drinking or drug problem can be so exasperating. In the program, you have an opportunity to vent. Venting to our specialists can help relieve some of the pressure. Venting it out to your loved one with SUD is disastrous and you know it doesn’t do any good.
BALM helps you to vent strategically. BALM is a method of strategic, planned venting, without any negative effects. You learn to be calm inside, observe objectively and deal with your emotions. Through this and scripting, you get to vent strategically, at the right time in the right place and in a powerful and productive way.
3. You don’t tolerate your loved one’s denial.
In the BALM programs, we say “Denial is the glue of the Use Disordered system”! This means that whenever your loved one did something driven by their addiction, you believe or pretend to believe when they said they didn’t do it, for the sake of non-confrontation or peace. As soon as you do that, their addiction-hijacked brain relaxes and says that they got you, and then things stay the same after that.
But with BALM, you learn how to respond to these denials. You learn how to confront them lovingly and when you refused to believe in their lies, the denial starts to crack. Using the BALM conversation scripts, those cracks grow.
There is no guarantee that their denial will end, but as you have learned, when you stay out of denial, your craziness decrease substantially and they have a much better chance of making better choices in the future.
4. Love has the chance to grow in you in the healthiest of ways.
When you begin to apply the BALM method, you start to become more loving because it brings love to the fore in your consciousness. You become more conscious about how to respond and come from a place of love. When you always come from a place of love, you live increasingly in peace.
5. BALM builds within us an imperturbable ocean of calm.
What BALMers have found out is that we become the peace and love that we practice. That peace and love were always there. In fact, it is who we are at the core. Practising BALM, you become the peace you want to see and that peace spreads to everyone that you meet. It also gives your loved one an anchor to the calmness that they can grab onto during their darkest days and hopefully bringing light into their life by changing their minds and to choose recovery with you.
On Tuesday, September 15, 2020, please join us for a quick call about the value of the 7 Steps. We will meet for a brief call at 9 PM ET to talk about an upcoming online 7 Steps Retreat we are hosting and to hear about how the 2-day format can make a powerful impact on your ability to Be A Loving Mirror!
To register for Tuesday’s call, Register HERE