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Why Does the BALM Include a Spiritual Component?

BALM, BALM Principles and Steps, Beverly Buncher | June 20, 2021

Why Explore and or Heal?

My Spiritual Journey Begins

As a child, I was spiritually curious. My grandparents lived a life that followed the seasons of the sacred calendar. A holy meal each Friday evening and Saturday morning, along with worship in community throughout the weekend. My grandfather studied holy books daily and went to the house of worship morning and evening each day.

Each summer we visited our aunt and uncle who also followed the traditions of our ancestors closely, living a visibly sacred life. 

I liked the ‘feel’ of their life. The structure, the peace, the extraordinary within the ordinary…it was both exotic to me and very near to my heart and soul. 

In our home, the secular lifestyle reigned. There were strong values of honesty, integrity, and being a good person in our relationships with each other and in business. But the sacred was somehow left behind. It wasn’t modern. It didn’t match the tenor of the times. It was ‘what we left behind’ to live a modern life. 

My Spiritual Journey Continues

As I grew, I saw the contrast in the two ways of life and felt attracted to the rhythm of the spirit present in my relatives’ lives. I also grew to understand the philosophical differences that my parents experienced and embraced many aspects of the non-religious perspective. 

Yet, my soul yearned. It yearned for something to fill that emptiness inside. And so I searched. I searched through religion. I searched through counseling and therapy. I searched through education.

Over time, I came to see that the work of filling that emptiness went beyond any one of these avenues yet encompassed them all. 

To become full, to experience the sense of ‘my cup runneth over’ was deeper than a ritual performed, knowledge held, or a psychological understanding of myself and all that I had experienced.

For me, the experience of being In relationship with that which is spiritual, included living a rich, full life and defined the essence of it. 

Through the inclusion of prayer, dialogue, contemplation, self-understanding, self-improvement, and healthy relationships, I came to feel the Presence in my life that I had sensed in my grandparents’ home and that of my cousins. 

Spirituality came to live within me consciously in a way that allowed me to be open to that Presence and open to the wide variety of people who practiced it, each in their own ways…

For me, spirituality is being in powerful relationship with That Which Is within me as well beyond my understanding. Sometimes I call it All That Is. Other times, God. Always I see it as my Friend, there for me when no one else seems to be able to or want to.

It is said that we enter this world alone and leave it alone. Yet, when we have a conscious connection with  All That Is, we know that we are never alone. 

Three Powerful Experiences

I will never forget three seminal experiences I had on my path that sealed this understanding for me.

My First OA Meeting

At my first Overeaters Anonymous meeting in 1975, I stood for the circle at the end and as we all grabbed hands, I felt a surge of electricity go through me. The connection to the people in the circle awakened something deeper within me than the people in the circle and helped me ‘keep coming back.’

God Drying My Tears in an Instant

In the late 70’s early 80’s, I remember a moment when I could not stop crying. My sorrow seemed endless, my prospects dim. I turned to God and asked Him to please dry my tears, as I felt I couldn’t stand the sadness any longer. In an instant, the crying lifted and I was filled with a sense of light and hope. 

Facing the Emptiness Within Me

In 1986, my husband was in treatment and I missed him terribly. I felt this sense of aloneness and emptiness that reminded me of the uncertainty of loving someone with a use disorder. Suddenly, I experienced another memory of the many times in my life that I had felt that emptiness, unrelated to my husband or his illness.

 Shift Happens

It became clear to me, in an instant, that just as the emptiness was something I was carrying within me, so too was the healing. I turned within to experience the God of my understanding and to do my own inner work of healing, no longer blaming my unhappiness or emptiness on another person’s struggles.

I considered that profound shift to be one of many spiritual awakenings over the years, in that it pointed me toward the All That Is, and away from blame and self-pity during challenging times.

The Impact of My Spiritual Journey on the Development of the BALM

In writing the BALM, I knew that relationships held the key to recovery. I had learned about the importance of healing the three relationship (person to God, person to self, person to person)  in the faith I embraced in my childhood as well as in the 12 Step rooms.

Wanting to share the three relationships with families. I began the first iteration of the 12 BALM Principles with the relationship with the Sacred. Through deeper contemplation and inner guidance, I realized that families suffering through a loved one’s use disorder or mental health struggles just wanted to help a struggling loved one recover.

So instead, we started with teaching  BALMers the family’s role in a loved one’s recovery, then gave action principles, and then the emphasis on those three relationships, which greatly enhance the chance of a powerful long term recovery for the loved one and the family.

Exploring The Three Relationships as You Move Through the BALM

This week in the BALM, we are looking at the first of those relationships: spirituality. The Inner Path, the path of love, can be said to start and end on the spiritual path. Next week, we will explore the relationship with self and the following week, relationships with others.

For those of you in the BALM, listen to the Principle Nine Lesson and when you can, watch the many recordings of people’s spiritual journeys. Use the Fast Track Workbook to look at the many tools shared to enhance your path and see how you can apply what you are learning on your journey.

Consider writing your Spiritual Autobiography – in abridged form as I have done here or an ongoing longer version – your choice!

The BALM includes a spiritual component to allow BALMers new to spirituality to explore its many possibilities. At the same, it is also designed for veterans on the spiritual path.

Those with experience on the spiritual path can revel in the mysteries life has presented thus far, gain a few new tools for their spiritual toolbox, and begin to heal any traumas on their path thus far.

For some, the spiritual journey blossoms on the BALM’s loving path. For others, it is a seed planted to be grown at a later time in a different context on their path. Whether latent or fully bloomed, it can enhance the journey along the loving path.

You can learn more about the BALM Family Recovery Program here.

May your journey lead you to the fullness of a life well lived from the inside out.

And remember everyone…Be A Loving Mirror