Why Do I Need Support? This is Their Problem, Not Mine
It is common for family members to see their loved one as the problem. This leads families to drop their loved one off at treatment and expect to get a ‘fixed’ or ‘healed’ person back 30, 60, or 90 days later.
Often, this attitude leads to great disappointment and even a sense of cynicism about their loved one, the usage, and treatment in general. Many loved ones require more than one round of professional help and without support, both family and user can flounder much longer than necessary.
So, let’s clear a few things up so YOUR family does not have to experience this misconception and its sad result.
- The two most powerful indicators of a loved one’s best chance of longterm success are:
- a family that has been treated for the family dis-ease of substance use disorder
- a loved one participating in some sort of mutual peer support group following their initial treatment
- A longer length of treatment is often correlated with sustained recovery. This can include: initial inpatient, longer inpatient, sober living, a sober coach, halfway house, Intensive Outpatient, Mutual Peer Support,having a mentor/sponsor, having a Recovery Life Coach,following the discharge plan, etc.
- This is a dis-ease of denial and as we have discussed before, Denial is the Lynchpin of the Addictive System. What this means is that, while all of the above is true, both loved one and family members are prone to think things like:
- it’s not that bad
- everything will be fine
- we can do this ourselves
- I don’t need help
- The family can play a HUGE role in dismantling the denial in their loved one’s life. But, in order to do so, they first have to do so for themselves.
- If you are a student of our Family Recovery Academy, you know that the Information you are getting in The Daily BALM®, followed by the Transformation of the 7 Steps to BALM® course, and the support you get with your group coaching and/or one-one-one coach will systematically teach you how to do this. All you have to do is participate and open up to a new approach!
- Plus there are many other places to get support that we will discuss in this week’s lesson: Getting Support Will Help Your Recovery Thrive!
- The point is: You are not alone and if it was easy to recover and help your loved one recover without support, you wouldn’t be reading this blog!
So, we invite you to surrender to the fact that getting support will help you! Take advantage of your BALM® classes and groups. Listen to the recordings and read the ebooks and handouts. You have a year to grow and be there in a whole new way for yourself and your loved one. and yet, the change can begin to happen in an instant.
Be A Loving Mirror!
Beverly A. Buncher, MA, PCC, MRLC, CTPC
Family Recovery Coach/CEO
Family Recovery Resources, LLC
786 859 4050