“My Wife Drives Drunk. Is It My Business to Intervene?”
Being married to someone who doesn’t have an off switch when it comes to alcohol or other substances definitely has its challenges. Questions come up that make you wonder if they have a problem or if you are losing your mind.
Take drinking and driving for instance.
If you love someone who drinks and can’t always stop, there will be times they drive drunk. Unless, of course, you are always with them or you take away their keys or they’ve had their license suspended or..
So, let’s just say you aren’t always with them. Sometimes they go to work and grab a few on the way home.
Or she’s a housewife (or househusband) driving the kids around when you are at work after having a few with friends in the afternoon.
Is this a problem?
Do you need to intervene?
Only you know how bad it really is, or do you?
First things first. Get your facts straight. Facts aren’t things like
- this is driving me crazy
- i can’t take it
- what if something happens
those are feelings and anticipatory upset.
Facts are more like:
- Yesterday, he came home from work. I was taking out the trash and saw him swerving his car down the street
- Last night, she fell asleep at the wheel of the car and I had to bring her in. She smelled of alcohol
- I came home at 4:30 after receiving a call from the school. The kids were still there. She was supposed to have picked up the kids at school, but never made it. I found her napping on the sofa with an empty bottle of wine on the table next to her.
Gather your facts.
Once you see these facts, you may get very upset. Or, if you are a BALMer, you may get very calm. After all, BALM® starts with having a practice of inner quieting so that you can Be The Peace You Wish To See in the World.
Being Peaceful is the same as Being Powerful.
On the basis of this kind of inner peace and power, you can have rational conversations and make rational decisions.
BALMer’s, you know what you need to do. Increase the peace inside of you so you can Be the person to decide on what works for you and what doesn’t with minimal drama and maximum effectiveness.
So back to the initial question:
Do you intervene?
Interventionists call BALM® daily mini-interventions that family members can use to lay the groundwork for recovery to take root.
By practicing the 7 steps to BALM® and working with your coach, you can gain skills to help you discover exactly when, where, and how to do so.
It is a process that will give you the tools to have transformative conversations with yourself and your loved one.
Learn it. Live it. Be A Loving Mirror.
Next 7 Steps to BALM® Class starts Thursday, June 15, 2017. (If you are already a member of the BALM® Community look for your link to register on your Weekly Call List. If you are not yet a member, CLICK HERE for more information or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Be A Loving Mirror!
Beverly A. Buncher, MA, PCC, MRLC, CTPC
Family Recovery Coach/CEO
Family Recovery Resources, LLC
786 859 4050